


What Happens In Themyscira (Doesn’t) Stay In Themyscira

by FujinoLover



Series: Harley and Ivy [3]
Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujinoLover/pseuds/FujinoLover
Summary: “If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”There is a loud crash above. A section of the ceiling falls apart as something hurls through it, right to the front of the altar. In the middle of the debris, with shards of wood and metal surrounding her and armor glimmers bright under the sunlight as she stands to her full height, is Wonder Woman.“I object this union.”Selina’sfinally!is drowned by the shocked gasps of the guests.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Series: Harley and Ivy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824364
Comments: 36
Kudos: 285





	What Happens In Themyscira (Doesn’t) Stay In Themyscira

**Author's Note:**

> This idea started off as crack-ish, but took a different turn during writing. Sorry about that.

The sun is shining bright. A couple of clouds lazily float on the clear sky. The wind is heading east, the right direction Kite Man needs to bring his soon-to-be wife to the beginning of their honeymoon once the ceremony ends. Tawny is doing exclusive live report from the side of the altar. Frank and Selina look beautiful in their dresses. It’s a perfect day. It’s Ivy’s wedding and Harley is dying.

They got the old Gotham corn factory Kite Man dreams of. With Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn asking for it, it’ll be dumb for Stew the venue manager to refuse them. Ivy’s name is enough to sell it off—corn and plants in whole is _her_ thing, but Harley is still over-determined to be the best maid of honor, so she might have mentioned something about bashing skull with her bat. There also might be some misunderstanding with Stew but hey, they are glad that he’s very supportive of same-sex marriage.

On Harley’s side, Frank is sobbing into a handkerchief. Selina looks bored and Harley…just stands there with a blank look. She’s so done with crying herself to sleep. She simply doesn’t sleep at all, just crying with her eyes wide open. It feels like she’s going to keel over anytime soon.

Selina cocked a brow at her when she continued to ‘trip’ over her dress earlier, but nothing more. Ivy would have asked if she was alright, but Ivy was too busy preparing for her wedding. Then doing the whole _I do_ thing on the altar. Then going to honeymoon. Then moving in with Kite Man. Then doing all the things married couple do together: doing taxes, having babies, murdering people. There will be no more time Ivy can spare for Harley from today onwards.

No matter what, though, Ivy is her ride or die. Till the end. The least she can do today is to look excited—as excited as a person can be when they haven’t slept for days. If she’s looking a bit pasty, well, she is always pasty.

She smoothens the skirt of her dress. It’s beautiful. A simple sleeveless dress made of satin with lace details on the chest. Hers is a shade darker than the rest of the bridesmaids, because she is the maid of honor, duh.

She briefly wonders if it’s the reason Ivy chose Kite Man over her: because he is green too. She wonders if she has chosen green as her color scheme, instead of her trademark black and red, Ivy might choose her instead. No, no. She’s so done being anyone’s sidekick. She wants a partner. An equal. Ivy would want her to find her own identity anyway. She’s going to dye the tips of her pigtails in green later.

Ivy’s voice breaks through Harley’s stream of consciousness. “I do,” she says, barely heard among Kite Man’s cheers.

And there goes Harley’s heart. She can only distract herself with her surrounding for so long before the ceremony grabs her attention again. It’s super hard to peel her eyes off her best friend. Ivy is wearing a simple white wedding dress, her long red hair in a neat ponytail and a crown of flowers holding her veil.

Harley kinda expected her to show up in her usual leather jacket and knitted legging that only seems itchy but actually so soft to the touch and she knows that not because she dragged it down Ivy’s long legs with her teeth. Nope. That happened just once.

She doesn’t even know when Ivy got the dress. She was never asked to accompany her to buy one. Nevertheless, Ivy is a sight to behold and every time she steals a glance at her, her breath gets knocked out of her lungs and her chest aches. It shouldn’t hurt to see her best friend being so beautiful in her wedding day. She should be happy. She puts on a smile, or at least she tries to.

“If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Selina looks at Harley, but she’s too busy grinning at nothing ahead with her eyebrow twitching from time to time. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Ivy glancing at Harley before quickly darting her eyes back to where her hands are clasped in Kite Man’s. A bigger, even more whimsical diamond ring in the shape of a rose is on her left ring finger.

Selina really doesn’t care about them or their loud hookups or their inability to talk about their problems like adults. She’s just going to step up and object for the sake of her own sanity. She _likes_ being their third-wheel. She can slip away anytime while they are too busy with each other. Now each of them takes turn to corner her to talk about complicated feelings and best friends and kisses. _The plant who is clearly in love with the clown is not supposed to marry the kite_ , the minister will surely understand her sound reasoning.

There is a loud crash above. A section of the ceiling falls apart as something hurls through it, right to the front of the altar. In the middle of the debris, with shards of wood and metal surrounding her and armor glimmers bright under the sunlight as she stands to her full height, is Wonder Woman.

“I object this union.”

Selina’s _finally!_ is drowned by the shocked gasps of the guests.

“Uh… Why?”

The minister searches the couple in front of him for any clue as to why a heroine objected their wedding, but neither of them knows. They are just as baffled as everyone else. They didn’t even invite her, surely not to break in through the roof. Instead of answering, Diana steps to the side just in time as the double doors on the other end of the aisle are pulled open. Light streams down the hall, temporarily blinding the guests and from it, Queen Hippolyta comes forward.

The band plays a fitting fanfare for the Queen’s arrival. Everything is timed perfectly. It’s like they have ran countless rehearsals in a wedding-crashing course. Harley snaps her head to look at band and finds the Amazons’ own band has replaced the wedding’s one. Yep. They definitely have a wedding-crashing course.

“What the fuck is going on…”

Hushed whispers of what is possibily happening fill through the venue like a low buzz. Still, the Queen takes her sweet time walking down the aisle, as though she is the bride herself. She comes to a stop by Diana’s side. The fanfare wraps up in a high note. Then there is a deafening silence.

“Um… Your Majesty?” Ivy greets.

She did send the royalty an invitation, out of politeness, and not expecting her to really show up. The Queen ignores her in favor of finding Harley amongst the bridesmaids. The blonde keeps her eyes on the floor, on the guests, everywhere but the stern ones staring at her. She ends up tilting her head up to look at the hole on the high ceiling. Batman coming to take her to Arkham sounds real fucking great right now. Or maybe Bane can rise back from the death and drag her to The Pit. She really should’ve died in The Pit—none of this mess will happen if she did.

The Queen then finally acknowledges Ivy. “How did you get your wife to agree to this nonsense?” she asks, her voice rings clear in the silent venue.

Everyone gasps, turning to look at the shocked bride.

Ivy chokes on thin air. “My _what_?”

The Queen continues to stare her down, with all her regal air and disapproving frown. “I wedded and celebrated you both,” she says. “I gave you my blessings.”

“The fucking rager,” Harley whispers. “ _Shit!_ ”

Realization hits Ivy as well. The rager started with Harley being announced as an Amazon, then the Queen motioned Ivy to join them. She put their hands together and kissed the top of their heads. Ivy flinched away slightly from the contact, but Harley was already brimming with too much excitement to consider it weird. It’s always nice to have affection from a sane mother figure. The Amazons cheered as the Queen raised their joined hands. The dancing and drinking began and the rest is history. Neither of them thought _that_ constitutes as a fucking wedding ceremony for the Amazons.

Ivy starts, “Okay, look. We have no idea that rager was—”

“You consummated the marriage afterwards.”

The collective gasp gets louder.

“She _what_?” Kite Man asks.

He looks at Ivy to Harley to the Queen and back to Ivy, apparently the only loop he manages to keep up with.

Ivy’s silence seems to be the wrong reaction, because Hippolyta frowns harder. “You mistreated your legally-wedded partner, Pamela Isley.” She announces, “I’m taking her back to Themyscira.”

Tawny stage-whispers _she’s taking Harley to fill the hole left by Wonder Woman? Talk about an extreme case of empty nest syndrome_ into the camera. The crowds go _oh_. Not far ahead, Diana flushes in embarrassment. She didn’t abandon her mother, okay? She was trapped in a fable book, until a pair of ex-villain clowns got her and the boys out, and now suddenly Themyscira has a clown as a new princess that her mother adores so much.

“What? Why would you—”

Harley shuts up when four Amazons come up to surround her. They are not touching or threatening her, just standing there guarding her. She can easily flip over them and run, but she doesn’t have the energy to. Honestly, Themyscira sounds really good right now. She has good memories with Ivy there. Ivy, who is going to her honeymoon soon. They are going to be apart for a while anyway.

Harley is just so very tired. She has done everything to show that she cared, that she’s changed, and that she’s still Ivy’s best friend no matter what. She cleans up after her own mess now. She’s better at controlling her impulses. She worked with her ex without harming him too badly to save the Justice League, but even that doesn’t win her a single chance. She’s not running away to the next thing, but she does need time for herself to heal. It took her a year of being locked in Arkham, and then some, to get over Joker. She can stay in Themyscira for a year, maybe two, or just like, forever.

Diana, belatedly realizing what a mistake it is to crash on a wedding, steps forward. “Mother—”

The heroine is silenced with a simple raise of Hippolyta’s hand. She ducks her head and takes a step back. The only thing she can do is mouthing an _I’m sorry_ at Ivy.

“Wait! You can’t just take Harley away like that!”

Ivy’s retreated away from Kite Man’s side. With each second passes and Harley remains quiet, flanked by the Amazons, her chest squeezes harder. She has Selina and Frank and Clayface and King Shark, maybe even Jen and Nora, but Harley is her _best friend_. The one and only. She’s not losing her best friend like this.

“She’s a grown woman. Fully capable of making her own decision and she’s staying here, in Gotham,” she stutters, trying to look at Harley, but she isn’t looking back at her. “With me, right Harls?”

Slowly, Harley shakes her head. “I can’t. Ivy…” When she finally looks up and lock eyes with Ivy, there are tears streaming down her eyes. “Have a good life, stay married, have babies. Name them Harley, the girls and boys.”

That sounds exactly like the things Harley said before she let go in The Pit, ready to plunge into her death. Ivy thought she was over the broken record thing when she moved on from Joker, but apparently it’s just a Harley thing.

“You know I love you.” Harley offers a smile, but it’s hard. The last of her tears falling down. After days of crying, there is just no more left. “Bye, Ive.” Then she turns around and walks away with the Amazons on her sides, head hangs low in defeat.

Queen Hippolyta follows her out to where the invisible jet is waiting for them. The band is playing a more sedated song to match the doom and gloom atmosphere. Diana, not knowing what to do and feeling bad for crashing a wedding like that, simply jumps back out of the hole she made in the ceiling.

Ivy is left with mouth hanging open. Every eye is on her, waiting for her reaction with batted breaths. Tawny is still broadcasting everything to the world. The anxiety of being in the center of unwanted attention is gnawing on her, but she grounds herself by looking at her almost-husband and the pieces that’s her heart crush further into shards.

Kite Man is heartbroken. There are tears on the corner of his eyes and he’s trembling in attempt to contain his sobs. He is betrayed and hurt. He should hate her, but she knows he doesn’t. He won’t be able to stand her for a while, but he will understand once she explains to him how shitty the situation is and how crazy it is to fall in love with your best friend that you just can’t lose no matter what.

They haven’t signed the paperwork. They can redo the wedding ceremony in a later date. She didn’t know and never gave her consent to be married to Harley. The law in Themyscira is not extended to their world. She can salvage her relationship with Kite Man, still can spend the rest of her life with the man she loves enough to marry.

“I’m so sorry, Chuck.”

Like all of her recent decisions, Ivy runs to the safest option to protect her heart from breaking. Only this time, she’s running after Harley.


End file.
